Walk on...

For as long as I can remember, people have asked me things like, "Why are you always so happy? How do you always stay happy? Why do you smile so much? Why do you say hi to everyone you see?" My answer has usually been just because I am so blessed. But really, it's so much more. I smile and continue to be happy because I have absolutely no reason not to be. Yes, I have bad days and yes I get frustrated and impatient but my faith reminds me that I am never alone. I was put here on Earth to help others find happiness and show Jesus love to them.

 My family like many others has overcome some extremely difficult challenges but we always come out stronger.We have learned that we cannot do anything on our own, so we don't. In my life I am still persecuted and told very hurtful things that do get to me. However, I know we are all human and I forgive them. If I had not learn the gift of forgiveness I'm not sure where I would be right now. As a child who has been involved in the process of divorce at different ages I know that there are things out of my control. I don't share a lot of my story with many people mostly because I don't want anyone to feel bad for me or my family. I also don't share the story because it is so painful that if people knew the things this person did they would look down on them and treat them differently. I figure it's not my job to judge them, they will get judged one day. I have seen physical, emotional and psychological abuse in different situations. I've been called fake, rude, lazy, selfish, etc. I have suffered insecurities and depression. I struggled with guilt and feeling helpless. I am definitely not perfect but I am confident in who I am. I know I do not purposely seek to hurt others. I try to go out of my way to  make others feel better. I have always struggled with painful confrontation and always hope to avoid it but I have learned to trust myself and if I feel passionate about something, I will speak up. I love seeing the best in others but I am not naive. I do not allow myself to be used and abused. 

I can't help but feel overwhelmed  at this point in my life. I feel like I was just a timid little girl wanting to make my mom happy and be a good sister and friend. Now I am sitting in a church with an amazing teenage girl helping other girls find a prom dress for free. I am happily married to the amazing man I started dating 10 years ago. I am the proud sister of a girl who proved EVERYONE wrong and was a DIII All- Conference player and a collegiate coach. I am a teacher of 4 years and a grad school student on her way to becoming a school counselor. I have overcome some situations that I see people struggling through today and has caused them depression, abuse and grief. I hope to be a reminder to them that you can be the exception. You do not have to be succumbed to your past. You can break the cycle. People will tell you no. People will tell you you'll never go to college, you'll end up a pregnant teenager and you will never have a backbone. You will and you can. Sometimes I still cannot fathom why my mom, sister and I have the attitudes we do. But then I am reminded we live and love faithfully because we believe our Savior will guide us and protect us. We believe in something so much bigger than ourselves. We believe that we are so freely forgiven so we must forgive too. We believe that God loves us unconditionally and we have hearts that truly desire to know him more. My heart could b u r s t sometimes with the amount of love and peace I feel inside. I know I do not have to be afraid anymore and I know that I deserve happiness and love. 

I want nothing more than to share the love and peace of my Savior with my future kids, family, friends and world. When people ask me why and how I am so happy I will always point to God and give him all of the glory. I know from the bottom of my heart that I can do all things through him, especially because, I am surrounded by people who encourage, inspire and help me in all ways. 

Walk on through the wind

Walk on through the rain

Though your dreams be tossed and blown

Walk on, Walk on, with hope in your heart

And you'll never walk alone

You'll never walk alone