Walk on...

For as long as I can remember, people have asked me things like, "Why are you always so happy? How do you always stay happy? Why do you smile so much? Why do you say hi to everyone you see?" My answer has usually been just because I am so blessed. But really, it's so much more. I smile and continue to be happy because I have absolutely no reason not to be. Yes, I have bad days and yes I get frustrated and impatient but my faith reminds me that I am never alone. I was put here on Earth to help others find happiness and show Jesus love to them.

 My family like many others has overcome some extremely difficult challenges but we always come out stronger.We have learned that we cannot do anything on our own, so we don't. In my life I am still persecuted and told very hurtful things that do get to me. However, I know we are all human and I forgive them. If I had not learn the gift of forgiveness I'm not sure where I would be right now. As a child who has been involved in the process of divorce at different ages I know that there are things out of my control. I don't share a lot of my story with many people mostly because I don't want anyone to feel bad for me or my family. I also don't share the story because it is so painful that if people knew the things this person did they would look down on them and treat them differently. I figure it's not my job to judge them, they will get judged one day. I have seen physical, emotional and psychological abuse in different situations. I've been called fake, rude, lazy, selfish, etc. I have suffered insecurities and depression. I struggled with guilt and feeling helpless. I am definitely not perfect but I am confident in who I am. I know I do not purposely seek to hurt others. I try to go out of my way to  make others feel better. I have always struggled with painful confrontation and always hope to avoid it but I have learned to trust myself and if I feel passionate about something, I will speak up. I love seeing the best in others but I am not naive. I do not allow myself to be used and abused. 

I can't help but feel overwhelmed  at this point in my life. I feel like I was just a timid little girl wanting to make my mom happy and be a good sister and friend. Now I am sitting in a church with an amazing teenage girl helping other girls find a prom dress for free. I am happily married to the amazing man I started dating 10 years ago. I am the proud sister of a girl who proved EVERYONE wrong and was a DIII All- Conference player and a collegiate coach. I am a teacher of 4 years and a grad school student on her way to becoming a school counselor. I have overcome some situations that I see people struggling through today and has caused them depression, abuse and grief. I hope to be a reminder to them that you can be the exception. You do not have to be succumbed to your past. You can break the cycle. People will tell you no. People will tell you you'll never go to college, you'll end up a pregnant teenager and you will never have a backbone. You will and you can. Sometimes I still cannot fathom why my mom, sister and I have the attitudes we do. But then I am reminded we live and love faithfully because we believe our Savior will guide us and protect us. We believe in something so much bigger than ourselves. We believe that we are so freely forgiven so we must forgive too. We believe that God loves us unconditionally and we have hearts that truly desire to know him more. My heart could b u r s t sometimes with the amount of love and peace I feel inside. I know I do not have to be afraid anymore and I know that I deserve happiness and love. 

I want nothing more than to share the love and peace of my Savior with my future kids, family, friends and world. When people ask me why and how I am so happy I will always point to God and give him all of the glory. I know from the bottom of my heart that I can do all things through him, especially because, I am surrounded by people who encourage, inspire and help me in all ways. 

Walk on through the wind

Walk on through the rain

Though your dreams be tossed and blown

Walk on, Walk on, with hope in your heart

And you'll never walk alone

You'll never walk alone 

"Life is a balance...

...of holding on and letting go."- Keith Urban

I find myself at a loss for words after hearing of so many people who have recently left us here on Earth. While I have faith that God uses these moments of our lives for a purpose and is always carrying us through, it's still hard. I sometimes can't even fathom the idea of losing a loved one close to me,  yet I know it is part of life. I think the best we can do to handle losing those we love is to honor them by living. Do the things you don't normally make time for. TELL people how you really feel about them. Be spontaneous. LIVE. I hope to always remember this and to live my life in a way that honors those who are not longer living on Earth and honor my creator whom I will forever owe my life and love. 


I wanted to share a speech I wrote for my husband's grandmother who passed away last March. She was quite the character but she really did have a big heart. I was blessed to know her and so grateful to see her laugh, yell and cry with my husband, her grandson whom she loved oh so much! Her daughters are a true example of living your life and they are the best Aunts I could ask for. Her legacy will most certainly live on through the color purple, the Irish traditions, the cackle and infamous stories and through the memories of her love. 

Miss you Nana! 

Nana Bunny

When I think of the Nana I came to know I instantly start to chuckle. There were few moments when she didn’t laugh at someone (usually Andrew or Katie) or she didn’t make us laugh. Some of my favorite memories of Nana include the first time I asked her about her birthday, which she replied was on October 30^th and that is why she was Spooooky. I’ll also never forget her advice to me upon getting my prom dress my senior year. I asked her for her opinion, I think, and she told me to not get white, no blue, no green, no pink, no red and definitely not yellow which of course was what I set my heart onI then asked her okay then what am I left with to which she replied black and walked away. . I also will always remember the way her eyes lit up when she saw Cal Ripken or some of her favorite others: Donald, Danny and Marty. She definitely had a thing for those blue eyes! I had the priviledge of spending many days with Nana in the Fetterolf household and am honored to know of the love and caring that went on in their house. Although at times Nana could use her wittiness to the best of her ability, she was always so loved and was quite the entertainment. She truly appreciated all that her kids and grandkids did for her and I could see that through her spirit while at Singerly Manor. Nana had a tough exterior at times but certainly had a huge heart. My mom even told me recently that during one of her first times at Cindy’s house, Nana sat with her and just spoke so openly. She remembered feeling so welcome and always felt comfortable talking with Nana.

I’m so blessed to be a part of this family and thankful for her being able to see her grandson get married in the same church as her daughters. If this family is any indication of her love, strength and thoughtfulness then I would say she fulfilled her job as a great mother. All of you in this room are here because you have been touched and influenced by this family in some way.  To me, there is no more powerful indication of the power of God’s grace. Let us always remember our job here on Earth and to not take one bit of it for granted. Up until her last days, Nana still found a reason to laugh and to have her nails painted. Please take time to laugh yourselves, to smile, say thanks to those whom you love and just live. I thank all of you for blessing my life and filling it with so much beauty. Nana was truly a great grandmother and will be surely missed. Please carry on her huge spirit and live with no regrets.

The Dash
by Linda Ellis copyright 1996

​I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on the tombstone
from the beginning…to the end.

He noted that first came the date of birth
and spoke the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that they spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved them
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
the cars…the house…the cash
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real
and always try to understand
​the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile,
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

​So, when your eulogy is being read,
with your life’s actions to rehash…
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent YOUR dash?

"Every time we make the decision to love someone, we open ourselves to great suffering, because those we most love cause us not only great joy but also great pain. The greatest pain comes from leaving. When the child leaves home, when the husband or wife leaves for a long period of time or for good, when the beloved friend departs to another country or dies … the pain of the leaving can tear us apart. Still, if we want to avoid the suffering of leaving, we will never experience the joy of loving. And love is stronger than fear, life stronger than death, hope stronger than despair. We have to trust that the risk of loving is always worth taking.”

Keep on keeping on...

     Being "sick" and having no idea why is so extremely frustrating! While I don't intend to vent on here for my post I do want to encourage everyone to advocate for themselves! You know your body better than anyone so fight for your right to be healthy in ever sense of the word. 

     I have always considered myself a pretty healthy person but in the last year or two I can honestly say I've been at my best. I have been eating wholesome, fresh foods and have cut out sugar, excess carbs and processed foods almost completely. While this has been a process, it has made me feel soooo much better. I eat now more than ever but that is because I eat every 2-3 hours. Not only have I implemented healthier eating but I have physically pushed myself harder in this past year than I ever have. I play field hockey year round, I learned about and participated in cross fit 2x/week this summer, I played soccer, softball and ran a half marathon! These are just some of the things I have done and I love them all. I enjoy golfing each week in the summer and I love my strength training and agility/interval run days during the week. My routine is never completely the same and it truly keeps me on my toes! Considering how much my lifestyle has changed I was really hoping to see and feel major differences but I don't. Unfortunately, I have been battling some unhealthy symptoms and have been to visit more doctors in the last year than  I have my whole life. I have been to sleep specialists, endocrinologists, dietitians and had blood drawn 5+ times yet I have no answers. I know that I am in the midst of a process that is not guaranteed answers but I am determined. I feel that I deserve to know what my body is combatting and I deserve to look and feel as healthy as I can possibly be. Despite my efforts I know it's not just me as to why I can't get to where I need to be. I refuse to give up. As someone who hates going to the doctor I know how annoying it is to go every couple of weeks but I need to know. I keep telling myself that this is all part of my journey and it will all pay off. I don't necessarily wish for me to have a disease or malfunction but at this point I'll take whatever, knowing that I have options and can understand it better. I know I am not alone when it comes to this and I have been really inspired by the men and women I've talked to who fought for years to prove something wasn't working right in their bodies. I appreciate all of the prayers and thoughts from everyone I've talked to. I will keep you posted but until then I will continue researching and believing that the best is yet to come. 

(Doctor appt. #3 for the month tomorrow!)  

Once Upon a Prom Boutique

8 years ago I had a couple of prom dresses sitting in my closet and I thought to myself, why do I have these? What should I do with them? Then it dawned upon me. I should give them away. There are probably girls out there like me who could not afford top of the line dresses but still wanted to look amazing. I took the idea to my youth group leader at Elkton United Methodist Church. She is quite possibly one of the most p a s s i o n a t e and

inspiring people I know. She of course loved the idea and brought it to life. She provided me with a space to start collecting dresses and met every girl at the church when I couldn't be there. The first year or two we had a great outpouring of donations. The dresses were beautiful but more importantly seeing the wide range of people giving so graciously was far more beautiful. We were able to help quite a bit of girls the first few years and we quickly grew. Before too long we had to move into a bigger area of the church. Not long after we moved to an off campus location and when we went back to EUMC we turned half of the basement downstairs into a full out boutique! For the last 6 years or so we have been so fortunate to have the thoughtful donation of brand new dresses from Prom Girl. There are literally $400 dresses that we are able to offer to girls for no cost. 

Thanks to the help of many people we have created a space where girls can browse hundreds of dresses by size, style and length. We have 3 full size dressing rooms and shelves full of handbags, shoes and jewelry. I have heard countless stories of parents who literally prayed for a way to send their daughter to prom. I have hugged many girls who were just so thankful that they found a dress that fit and made them feel beautiful without a huge cost. I have seen girls come in with the mindset that they didn't like anything and with a little guidance, they left surprised and feeling ready for Prom! The outpouring of support and thoughtfulness has always been a positive and inspiring part of my life. There have been numerous people who have spent countless Saturday's organizing dresses and helping girls. We could not have even come close to helping hundreds of girls if it wasn't for the support of other people. This has truly been a team effort. There were times I wasn't sure if we could continue this outreach for many reasons but God continues to provide, therefore, I have to continue to serve. I truly believe that giving to others is part of my purpose and blesses me more than I think those families could ever imagine. 

             

                 

______________________________________________<3_________________________________________________

To all of the girls who have so willingly sacrificed your time and talent to this little boutique- Thank you! I love all of you and the hearts that you possess. I'm blessed to know you. 

(A.F., T.C., K.H., B.L., A.W., A.G.,) 

To the women in my life who helped to bring a simple idea to life. You've inspired me and your heart for serving the Lord reminds me why we are asked to bless others. We are so lucky to have you <3

______________________________________________<3________________________________________________

Even though we still have hundreds of dresses available to choose from, we unfortunately, lose a lot of great dresses each year. We have not received nearly as many dresses back as we have given. If you can, please return what you take. Not for me, but for the future girls who deserve a chance to wear the perfect dress to prom. While prom might seem like a minor detail to some, it is a big deal to a teenage girl. Every girl deserves a chance to experience an event so exclusive to their high school experience. Every girl deserves the opportunity if they want to. We are always accepting donations at Elkton United Methodist Church or feel free to message us on our Facebook page! 

                                    

The Heart of a Saint and the Fight of a Tiger

Never have I met a woman with so much courage, strength and patience. Many of you who know this woman also know those qualities but you may not know how they were developed. I think it's so important to share our stories and I really can't share any of mine without sharing hers. My mom has never had anything handed to her and yet has always been the most positive person I know. I'll share a little of her life with you just so hopefully you can see what I see; the importance of having faith to overcome anything and the importance of just being k i n d.

     My mom, Veronica, grew up in a small, poor area. She walked to school alone each day and remembers wondering how she ever made it without any issues considering what was going on around her. She has 4 younger siblings and of course took a caretaker role. She cooked, cleaned and watched over everyone in her family as often as she possibly could. She was overlooked all throughout her life yet she had the courage to just keep on. She graduated high school and met my father who let's just say was the complete opposite! Next thing you know I was born! Despite trying to work on their marriage, it just didn't work. They were young and very, very different. But I always remember as a young two year old being held by both of my parents. I truly know in my heart they tried and that no matter what they both loved my sister and I. My mom moved on from that time in her life and worked and worked and worked. She worked 2-3 jobs while I was growing up. She never once complained. I had the privilege of being cared for by my aunts, uncles and grandparents. My sister and I missed my mom but we were always so cared for and we never went without. Yes, sometimes we had some inventive meals that I still get made fun of for when I make them but it worked!

     Our lives continued to change and eventually we made our way to Elkton, MD. We had a beautiful house with a pool, great neighbors and my sister and I had wonderful friends. Life was good. However, life took a twist and all of us experienced the most painful experience our family had ever faced. While I will not get into details just trust me when I say our whole lives were flipped upside down. It affected all of us in a lot of different ways. I can honestly say I experienced depression and anxiety. Then, a few months after everything had come about, my mom was T-boned and rushed to the hospital. We were told the accident was so bad that she was lucky to be alive. I remember visiting the chapel of the hospital praying that I could keep my mom. I was 20 years old and all I wanted was my mom. She came out of her accident with minimal damage considering but truly was hurt. She never complained. Actually, I take it back. She complained about having to follow up with the doctor a week after the accident. :) She remembers that the accident came at a time in her life where she was at a crossroads and it enlightened her. She knew she had to move on with her life and that she needed to cherish it oh so much. So she did just that. I was able to watch my mom's faith grow tremendously. She worked with a humble attitude and gave so much of her time and money to people around her. She learned to love herself and she allowed a really great person to come into our lives who is the most loving and thoughtful person I know.

     My mom has sent two girls, 3 years apart, to college and will get to watch her baby graduate this May. My mom helped me get ready for my wedding and experienced every single part of the wedding process with me. She made everything and of course managed to stay the peaceful and positive person. I know that no matter what I can always count on this woman, not because she's perfect and not because I'm her daughter but because she is always honest (very honest) and she is always hopeful. She has worked her way up from a high school graduate and single mom to an amazing and notable retail store manager.  Her work ethic was been noticed and has led to opportunities for her to travel to NY and spend a day with Kathie Lee, she flew to Arkansas and met famous people and she went to the White House last year to help with the Annual Easter Egg Hunt.

   I think by reading this you have some idea where my sister and I get our work ethic and positivity from. My mom is a fighter and I am so glad she never gave up on herself or us. The three of us have
always had a special bond and I know that is something that will never change. We want the best for those around us and we truly want people to find the peace and happiness that we have found despite many setbacks. I hope that all of you have someone in your life that you find motivation and inspiration from. I also hope you have that someone in your life that you can count on to call when you're sad, share news with when you're happy and just enjoy a cup of coffee with.

Also, I know my mom is probably feeling a little awkward reading this about herself, but it's true. I love you mom and I hope to be just half the mother you are. We are so lucky to have you!

Hit (it) with your best shot

I've been in a really good place lately, just a tad bit busier. Seeing many people in a similar place I thought it was necessary to put up some great words of wisdom. Life is not all about competition. I get exhausted hearing people complain and describe their lack of time. It's hard. I think everyone is in agreement but there has to be ways to find peace. There are. I think it's actually harder for most people to give themselves that time or space but it's so necessary. If you want to eat healthier, be prepared. It's really that simple. Make your food ahead of time and plan for being out with healthy snack options. 

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If you want to work out more, you just have to go for it 100%. I use a calendar and literally long range my plans according to my goals. I check off each day and log it into Myfitnesspal. It helps me, but do what helps you. If you need time to just sit in quiet, sacrifice 15 minutes of sleep, it may change your whole day. I really hope more people do not give up on themselves and remember that all of your worries about the future are not going to go away no matter how much you worry. Have faith and live in the moment. It's easier said than done, I know, but we owe it ourselves to be better in ALL areas of our lives. There is no complete fulfillment that comes from being a straight A student but you neglect your family and friends all the time or a devoted worker who works and works even when they're not at work and misses out on memories with loved ones. Life happens really fast. Be mindful for yourself and for others. Your kids, friends and family are looking to you and are inspired by you whether you realize it or not. 

Keep the faith, stay positive and believe.